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Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:
Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.
Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken. The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.
At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates. While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.
A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.
The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.
(via pricklylegs)
eye eye eye!
Wow. We love this one from Cool Records. Accordeonpourri de Kermisklanten Elf Provincien…
Where do I even begin??
moeder ik ben zo bang!
They broke into Microsoft and stole the Apple iPads
megalomanial replied to your post: chronically-awesome replied to your post: London…
Come over this way!! You wont be far away from home either!!You know how much I love the netherlands, your jobs market is also very tough and I lack language skills. If you know of any opportunities though I’d be on the first plane out of here. I’m genuinely serious.
come to SA! We need a president. Anyone can apply, language skills not necessary… I’d vote for you.
Cartoon of the night by John Klossner. For more: http://nyr.kr/NxZIHT
Dear Greece
It’s all your fault
Sort it out.
Europe.
dear Europe, you wouldn’t be if it wasn’t for us. Greece.
What, pray, is happening at the large Hadron Collider?
?
I read that as the large hardon collider, that’s a whole other story.
oh God…
